The Intersections of Faith and Sexual Orientation

by Crystallee

Many people, young and old, struggle with the issue of whether or not you can be OUT and be a member of a faith community. For everyone out there who doesn’t know if this is possible or anyone who has questions about the ability to be an authentic faith-filled person while keeping yourself accountable to your identity, let me tell you it is possible!

When I was younger my grandmother always wanted me to go to church with her. It was our time to dress up together. I liked going because I wanted to spend time with her and I wanted to be a part of what made her so happy. But I felt conflicted because I’ve been OUT since I was 13, and I knew I wasn’t accepted in her place of worship. I made the sacrifice anyway and attended when I could.

I had a girlfriend at the time and I invited her to come with me. She said that God didn't love gay people. At that time I didn’t have a label for myself and I had never before heard what she had said. Her mother told her that God hated her because we liked each other. She wasn’t allowed to see me but she was allowed to go to church so I could see her there. She wouldn’t come, though. She didn’t feel comfortable liking girls and going to a place of faith. She felt ashamed. She felt the resistance from faith communities and as such she became alienated. Later on in life I examined this situation and was discouraged to know that it had had a negative affect on my as well.

After my grandmother passed, I didn’t revisit faith issues for a very long time. As a political person I was angry with the mainstream rhetoric. It was difficult for me to try to seek out faith when it seemed to me that religion was fueling the campaign to ban gay marriage and faith communities nationwide were fighting against gay marriage. I was hurt by the national campaigns and further alienated from religion.

I now realize however that not all faith communities are like this. In fact, I am welcomed and affirmed in many communities of faith. This was something I didn’t know before and I am so glad that I do now. Religion is a personal choice, by all means. But we live in a country where religious groups have dominated the discussion about what it means to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ). Now that I am working in communities of faith that are open to my sexual orientation, I feel that it is my duty to spread awareness that accepting communities exist.

We, as people, have to think about the affect religious opposition has on the LGBT community as well as society as a whole. Episcopalian Bishop Rev. V. Gene Robinson, from New Hampshire, spoke during a plenary session at the 20th Creating Change Conference in Detroit, Michigan in February 2008. Rev. Robinson is an openly gay bishop. During his speech he made comments that were helpful in my understanding, and finding the intersections between our individual experiences of faith and how to grapple with our sexual orientation. “All of our religious traditions tell us that there is a risk to be had when we tell the truth,” Rev. Robinson said.

“We’ve got something worth dying for here and it’s our dignity,” he proclaimed towards the end of his speech when talking about the LGBTQ community fighting for equality in all institutions and facets of society.

For many, religion is a major part of life. For some it is what gets them up in the morning, for others it’s what keeps them in bed. The fear of rejection from various religious communities has had a negative impact on the LGBTQ community. Hope is on the rise. “We are coming into a new era where LGBTQ groups are partnering with religious groups,” Rev. Robinson declared during his plenary speech.

Currently I’m working with the American Friends Service Committee where I am an interfaith organizer in the Michigan Inclusive Justice Program. The goal of this program is to engage, organize and educate religious organizations and communities of any faith about LGBTQ issues. Programs like this and many others around the world are bridging the gap between faith, sexuality and life.