“It's one, two, three strikes, you're out, at the old ball game”

A day in the life of a young queer person of color

By E, Youth Resource Peer Educator

Every day I wake up, stretch my arms, kick my blanket off my body, take a look in the mirror and the first thing that comes to mind is, oh yeah I’m a person of color and then it hits me that I am also part of the queer community and finally I’m a youth. Starting off every day with three strikes against me leaves me with the feeling that I am, indefinitely, “out”.

Let me introduce myself, my name is E, yes that’s right just E. I am 19, brown and queer. Every morning I am faced with the fact that just by existing I face obstacles most of my other peers never have to go through. Queer People of Color (QPOC) face many struggles. We can encounter challenges, feeling as if we are “other” within the Queer community AND within communities of color, yet these differences can be totally separate from each other. On the other hand these “issues” or feelings of “otherness” may also intersect at some points, creating new isolated differences.

Forced to Choose Between Identities

QPOC frequently feel as if they must choose between their ethnic community and the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans (LGBT) community because they experience discrimination within both. For both religious and cultural reasons, ethnic minorities can be less accepting of sexual orientations other than heterosexuals and the coming out process of QPOC often differs greatly from most LGBT people. The families of QPOC face unique challenges as well, with language and cultural barriers keeping many from the support and resources they might need. Even within the LGBT community, which should be most accepting of QPOC based on shared sexual orientation, QPOC often feel marginalized. It is not uncommon for QPOC to report feeling invisible within the one community they wish to be a part of. In fact, for many who identify as QPOC a racist society, ostracism from the GLBT community can contribute to risk-taking behaviors, lowered self esteem and feelings of being alone.

At its most extreme form, this discrimination may contribute to increased risk of HIV infection among young gay men of color, some of whom may engage in high-risk behavior in order to feel accepted by the predominately white gay community. For others these feelings may lead to other risk-taking behaviors i.e. substance abuse (drugs, alcohol, tobacco, prescription drugs), suicide, self-harm, homelessness, depression, etc. All of these behaviors can stem from lowered self esteem, ostracism and the feeling of being alone.

How to Support QPOC Youth

Young QPOC are often at great risk for many of these feelings and behaviors and so it is imperative that these youth receive immediate support. Some things that individuals or groups can do to support these young people include:

Providing special services such as support groups or counseling for youth who identify as QPOC
Creating safe space in agencies, schools and homes for young QPOC
Vigilantly redress prejudice and homophobia whenever it arises
Educating our communities (both LGBT and communities of color) about issues that pertain to QPOC
Advocating for the health of QPOC patients

SUPPORT - CREATING A QPOC SAFE SPACE

There is a need to create supportive networks for young people who identify as QPOC, their friends and significant others. You can help create that network of supporters in communities of color and in the LGBT community by:

Inviting QPOC as active members of LGBT communities and communities of color.
Increasing visibility of LGBT issues within ethnic communities – talk about your experiences or about issues in the news and encourage others to do so as well!
Provide a forum for QPOC to address the specific issues they face – listen to what other QPOC have to say.

EDUCATE - INFORMING OUR PEERS

It is important for allies of the QPOC community to make the issues/barriers apparent to the greater communities. The best way for a person to show support for this community is to bring up these issues and make them known in their respective community. Encourage QPOC to discuss how the community can best meet their needs. Help them to advocate for a space where they can openly and safely discuss issues related to their identity without being confronted by homophobia or racism.

Be aware of the issues

Just as society marginalizes people of color, the LGBT community marginalizes QPOC.
QPOC are affected by multiple and intersecting forms of discrimination.
QPOC have a unique perspective on being LGBT that may be different from what most GLBT people experience.

Be aware of challenges that all LGBT people, including QPOC, may face:

Within a homophobic culture, it can be difficult to identifying—even to oneself—that you are LGBT
Many LGBT youth have difficulty doming out to family, who may not be accepting
Coming out to friends may also pose challenges
Identifying with or becoming a part of the LGBT community may not be as easy for some young LGBT folks than for others.

But be aware that QPOC also face special challenges:

Identifying with and coming out to an ethnic community can be hard
Coming out to a spiritual/faith-based community –a community that may play an even greater role in the lives of youth of color than other youth—may also present difficulty
Identifying with both communities (LGBT and communities of color) presents challenges for many QPOC

Queer people of color are often forced to choose to identify with only one community, and can never really accept themselves as part of each. Many young QPOC find that neither community understands or is FULLY able to acknowledge the values of the other. On multiple occasions these QPOC youth feel like they can not out themselves either as a person of color or as an LGBT youth.

Becoming Myself

Although my struggles are similar to my white LGBT identified peers, in some respects they are also totally different. Every day I am faced with situations where both communities ostracize me. Difficulties with language, culture and levels of acceptance exclude me even more. In Mexico we wouldn’t talk about our bodies, our sexual orientation, or our gender. Talking about these things is taboo; my parents couldn’t even use the words penis or vagina without referring to it as “down there”.

Explaining my sexuality, gender and orientation in English is something that I’ve become accustomed to doing. Translating that conversation to Spanish doesn’t go as smoothly. You see, in Spanish there isn’t a word for QUEER, or HOMOSEXUAL, the words used are derogatory and repulsive. For me to define myself I have to try and use English words with a Spanish accent. One word I do know in Spanish is MARICON, a word I often heard growing up and the English equivalent to FAGGOT. Coming out for me wasn’t about being comfortable with myself or worrying about what people might think. It was more about finding the right words to tell them I was gay. Eventually I just used the derogatory words.

I am constantly bombarded with images about what an LGBT person is “supposed” to look like. Every day I see images that I can’t relate to. Blond hair, blue eyes, a slender figure, a limp wrist, rainbows and glitter---all of these things are so foreign to me. I searched for years to find a QPOC role model that looked like me, or that I could relate to. I don’t see this, I couldn’t find this. What I did find is a conclusion.

I am not a statistic, I am not exactly identical to my peers. I don’t have to be. I don’t have to be a certain kind of person to fit in. I don’t even have to like rainbows. I don’t have to try to please others, but I do need to be happy with myself. I don’t need you to accept me. I don’t need you to look at me and think I’m beautiful. I don’t need to be the perfect height, weight, shape, or color. I don’t need to be perfect, not for you, or for anyone else. I do need to be happy for me. I need to be able to walk down the street with my head held high and my chest in the air, walking proud. I need to feel accepted, for everything I am, for everything I want to be.

Ultimately I am myself, I am E and that’s all I have to be. I am a Queer Identified Person. I am Mexican. I am Youth. I’m just E.